Question for a heterosexual man

My buddy Serverman asked the men in MaxFisch how they would feel about another man participating in their play. This was my response:

Serverman, Great question! I have several thoughts swirling in my head, so sorry if my answer seems disjointed. Many years ago at Club O (how's that for dating myself? ) I was put into suspension by a Mistress friend of mine, and while she was chatting with someone else, a male Dom simply decided it was OK for him to start whipping me. Whoa, I lost my hard-on in a nanosecond and finally got him to understand that he was violating my boundaries (he did have the class to apologize profusely afterward). Perhaps because of this incident, or maybe not, I have a visceral reaction to male Doms, and the reaction is not a good one. To keep my post positive, I won't elaborate further.

Secondly, I have had several experiences with Dommes topping me and another (or several) males. Sometimes this has been a fun experience, other times not so much. Just recently I was in a lifestyle situation with a Domme and one of her regular play partners. For some reason I was on edge the whole time and did not allow myself to enjoy what should have been an amazing experience. She and I talked about it at length later and agreed that there were several factors involved, including the fact that a man whom I just met earlier in the day was participating (there was no direct interaction between him and myself).

Finally, I'll divulge something a little more personal. There are several gay people in my family. While I have always considered myself purely hetero, in fact that is not totally true. I have always recognized that there is a bit of me on the other side, but it is something that I categorize like a piece of art on a museum shelf: periodically I'll take it down, admire it, say it's not for me, and put it back. Lately, however, there has been a slight change. While I'm fairly certain it will never happen, recently I have contemplated being in a bi scene with two people I know. Well, it takes three to tango, and there is zero interest from my friends, but still in a weird way I take some pride in having this thought. In a sense, I feel like a cherry has been broken, not because I have done something new, but because I have given myself the freedom to say, "yes, if by some miracle that situation presented itself, I would go there with no hesitation." So in fact, nothing has changed, I have done nothing new, but having this mindset makes me feel like some transformative experience has taken place. The interesting thing is that I have absolutely no desire to go there with anyone else. Thus, one could argue that it's all bullshit: I am allowing myself to contemplate something that has no shot of ever happening - a rather safe fantasy.

Who's the Dom(me) now?

I’m the Dom almost all the time. Except when I choose not to be. It’s almost always been like this, but is now especially pronounced since I have returned to my former (real) profession and am bossing people around almost every waking moment. Waitresses stop talking, freeze up and say through shaky smiles, “hi Chef, how are you today?” when I pass by. Wherever I go in the establishment, if there are other people there, they clear a path and ask what they can do to please me. My word is final, and everyone accepts that.

You would think all of this would make my dick hard, but it doesn’t. I do take satisfaction that everyone respects me and never sneers, grumbles or back-talks. That’s nice. And some of them actually fear me, which I find stupidly amusing. (My shrink, appalled that I would find projecting fear amusing, says I’m channeling my late father and continuing his tradition of toxicity. A little unfair, me thinks.) But if these people actually knew what made my dick hard, they’d faint.